


Van Owen's Run

by GreenPhoenix



Category: Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner-Warren Zevon song
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 06:30:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3926365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenPhoenix/pseuds/GreenPhoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Van Owen killed Roland. But why and where did he go? To Valhalla.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Van Owen's Run

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sweetcarolanne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetcarolanne/gifts).



There was a silence in the air when Eric Van Owen went to the bar in warm Mombassa. A slow, clinging stillness, which might have been the calm before the storm.  
He shouldn’t have had that final drink, but he had so much to forget. Now was as good a time as any to start the waste of his life, such as it was.  
He’d started drinking at noon that day. He often did now, and all the others from his unit did too. They always kept him company, but not today.  
He had so much to suppress, so many sorrows to drown.  
Like killing his only friend and the war that raged still.  
Yes, the bloody war. Like he ever could leave that behind him. It would always haunt him, the things he’d done.  
All because the C.I.A told him to do it just now.  
He saw his best friend’s headless body when he closed his eyes, and then the darkness came.  
The blessed, merciful darkness. It would never cover all his sins, but he sank into it willingly. He knew he’d pay for his sins, and this was right. So right and so true. Van Owen had met his fate at last. All because he couldn’t let Roland be.  
He was just another corpse in another war now. There were many like him. There always would be. That was just the way of the world. He knew as much. They all did in this godforsaken war. 

*  
The C.I.A man was sweaty and old, and Van Owen didn’t trust him. He trusted no one so what was to be expected. It usually was, after all.  
But the man gave him an excuse. He needed an excuse to kill his best friend, and their best gunner.  
The most beautiful man he’d ever seen.  
Roland. The wonderful Roland. The deadly Roland.  
“Why should I kill Roland?” asked Van Owen curiously, looking for a reason to believe the man meant business.  
“Because we want him dead,” said the man. “That’s all you need to know. We’ll pay you well.”  
“Good enough,” said Van Owen and shook the sweaty, big hand firmly. He hated limp handshakes. His father taught him that among with so many other things.  
“I was never here and you are on your own if you get caught,” said the man ominously and left. His steps were soft and his walk determined. He vanished like a ghost in the night.  
“Fine,” said Van Owen and left, determined to follow through on this deed. He had to do it now. He’d given his word after all. His father told him to always follow through on his word. He was his father’s son, cowardice and all.  
*  
Roland was from Norway. That was a good country he always said, clean and bright.  
Just like Roland himself then.  
He was tall and blond, and the best gunner they had. He was a dream walking around in broad daylight. The best friend of the whole unit. Everyone’s favorite buddy.  
Van Owen envied him his strength and his surety that the war was right.  
Roland had saved him more than once, and Van Owen hated him for that.  
The thoughts he kept having about Roland didn’t help either.  
He kept seeing him naked, surrendering to his every whim.  
He always awoke from those dreams, sweaty and covered in semen.  
He hated that and tried to hide it from his unit.  
He had his fiancée back home, and he loved her. He did.  
He wasn’t bent, dammit. Only sissies were. His father had told him so.  
His father would have his hide if he knew; it was bad enough that his father had caught him playing doctor with the neighbor’s son once.  
He could never live that down.  
So he joined the war to prove his manhood once and for all.  
Van Owen kept writing to Elise but she hadn’t written back in a long while. Not like she used to.  
There was a Dear John letter coming for sure.  
He knew as much from others who told of their wives losing patience with this bloody war.  
*

 

 

Van Owen shot Roland when he was sleeping in the bushes. The cowards’ way, so much for his supposed bravery, in the fields of blood and guts. He was a nobody, and he knew it so well now. Maybe he always did.  
He shot Roland because Roland was a better man than him, and because he loved Roland. He couldn’t love him, he didn’t dare to love him. He was lower than low, he always knew that somehow.  
Maybe the C.I.A man wasn’t even real. He hadn’t really been there, he’d said as much.  
Van Owen was so high all the time, or blind stinking drunk, to endure the war.  
Roland was really dead, and headless.  
He saw the corpse move, but he didn’t believe it.  
Well, he was drunk.  
Now he was dead but still dreaming.  
He was in Valhalla and all of Roland’s victims surrounded him. Even Patty.  
They were all fierce warriors, and brave men and women.  
The goddess Hela had sent Roland back to fetch dead for her wars.  
Roland was her headless valkyrie.  
Hela’s headless, brave warrior to carry on her wars for her, into eternity, and ever on.  
*  
Running through the night he saw the headless man and he screamed.  
The dead, all in a row their eyes glassy, drank mead.  
Eric Van Owen knew he was worthy to be here, even now.  
But he missed the better times with his friend, and regretted not being a stronger man.  
A stronger man would not have killed Roland that way.  
A stronger man would have loved him right.  
Patty gave him a sympathetic look and raised her glass.  
He toasted her back sadly.  
They had a long time ahead of them on the fields of the dead.  
They had wars to fight, and more companions to await soon enough, it seemed.

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: Hel is the name of the goddess of the dead, Hela is the Marvel name, but I decided I liked it better.  
> Patty is named for the real life woman in the song, but here she is a fictional character, cause I find RPF a little unsettling.  
> Also valkyries are all female, but Roland can be a male exception.


End file.
